Hey you. Yeah, you. I don’t see anyone else here, so I must be talking to you. (Do you honestly think that this five-day old blog has a devoted following?) However, you got here, I could use a hand. Your hand.

Oh you’re a double-amputee you say? Well screw you. (On second thought, a stub will do the trick just fine.)

I’m new to blogging. I obviously don’t know what I’m doing. After all, I’m a man who started an infertility blog. Had I properly consulted the great Google in the sky, I would have seen that infertility blogs should be written by women and should be on blogspot.com. Well, I’m a sunk-costs fallacy kind of thinker and there’s not much I can do about my chromosomes so here we are.

Of all the things I’d like to blog about, I decided to write about my struggles with infertility. I’d much rather make dumb jokes about politics, curate a tumblr blog filled with pictures of unintentionally-hilarious billboards, write a blog about community parks, write a blog about information literacy or post to a mommy daddy blog. But the last one’s not really a possibility right now and the previous aren’t what I need right now.

I need help dealing with this issue. I need a support network.

As weird and new as blogging is, it’s got nothing on the newness of my realization that my wife and I aren’t really in control of our reproductive fate.

So give me a hand, please. Consider this your invitation to spam me. Email me, write a comment on this post. Let me know where I can find help. Tell me what blogs to follow, what forums to join, etc. . .

I spent years trying to prepare myself to be a good father. I think I did a fairly decent job of getting myself ready — at least to the extent possible. I know that I’m in no way prepared for every difficulty that fatherhood could throw at me. (I’m probably ill-prepared for most of the challenges.) But I spent years readying myself to face those challenges. I never made a plan about how I would deal with not being a father. I didn’t think that was a necessary thing. I’d really been doing a pretty good job at not being a father for over two decades. But at twenty-six years old, I want to be a dad.

I don’t have a map for this. What am I supposed to do? With whom am I supposed to speak? How am I supposed to act? to talk? to feel?

Please someone tell me.

And if anyone has some kind of incantation that can get my wife pregnant tomorrow, that’d be great too. Then this could be my last post on this blog and I could move on to a blog about landmarks located at coordinates achieved by manipulating baseball players’ stat lines.